Sense of abandonment, low self worth

Subha, a medical practitioner. was keen to explore her sense of low self worth and feeling alone, despite having a family. She had frequent thoughts of not belonging in this world and felt very dissociated. She stated her childhood was happy and she had pleasant memories of it.

She was asked to focus on her main issue of being alone and regressed to early childhood at the age of 2-3 years when her mother would leave her sister and her with neighbours before leaving for work (Thought –Why did she have me? If I was not around, my mother would not need to work so hard). Through age regression, she moved to an earlier age when she was a crawling baby, and used to get tied to the sofa leg by a relative to keep her out of the way of her busy mother. Crying for attention did not work, so she stopped crying.  (Thoughts- I don’t want to be alone, I just need some attention). Subha next, regressed to in-utero stage where she heard her father saying aloud potential names for a boy, as he was sure that the baby would be male. He was totally disappointed on hearing the baby was a girl and in fact asked his sister (Subha’s aunt) if there was any way in which the baby girl could become a baby boy..

Subha absorbed the thoughts and emotions – felt abandoned and alone, and became convinced that she was the reason that her mother had to struggle so much. She also tried to over-achieve and be “just like a boy” to gain the affection of her father, but to no avail. She was never good enough.

Body therapy, inner child healing, dialoguing with the father and mother, and integration was done to handle the sub-conscious memories released.

Outcome:

Subha stated feeling a lot lighter after becoming aware of and letting go at first level the heavy, emotionally disturbing memories of her childhood. More work will be required however to deal with both the abandonment issue and to embed a sense of self worth.